We are just a week away of our two-week trip to Brazil to bring Ricardo’s ashes to Pedra do Sino, the mountain he asked me to scatter his ashes. We are ready, I think. I am ready. And Ian seems to be ready too. We had time (four months) to work on our grieving and understand our (his) need. I had time to prepare him and myself to the challenges of not having daddy’s physical presence. I bought a little urn to be kept for as long as he needs it. I bought some necklaces filled with a bit of Ricardo’s ashes and hanging from Ian’s little neck for his emotional safety and protection.
Now, it is time to move on and have the so necessary closure. The ‘last’ good bye is coming soon and we will be scattering his ashes with his friends, the way he asked me to. The following day, we will have an event to celebrate his life and so many great volunteering work he did for us, mountaineers, including the t-shirt below, one of the most successful fundraising for the Mountain Federation in Rio (FEMERJ), still current after almost 10 years. That is how I met him, by the way.
It will also be a necessary closure for his family, who couldn’t be present during the whole process. I was here, taking care of him and being able to tell him everything I wanted to say. I was lucky, for sure. And I was fortunate enough to give him all my love and care during such difficult times.
A couple of months before he passed, Ricardo told me he was always going to be around. I can feel that he is, in a very subtle and loving way. He brings me peace. And I know I have a very special angel looking after us. Ricardo had such an elegance and generosity in bringing us close to him till the end that I will never forget it.