And how beautiful this can be?
Yes, I know, it is sad the reason of the grieving but so incredible how we adapt to life and its paths. Around a week, 10 days ago, Ian started saying: ‘I want Daddy. Now.’ Of course I can’t attend his request, so I started asking him what we could do together to bring dad close to us. He gave me a few ideas, including a real-size cardboard daddy…
We then decided to do a scrapbook and two memory boxes, plus a few photos around the house – this project is still on the go, as the pictures didn’t arrive yet. But last night, when he couldn’t fall asleep for long two hours, he started asking again. ‘I want Daddy. Now.’ And I started noticing that this is a way for him to say something was bothering him or he needs my attention.
So, I suggested to sleep at Daddy’s room. I thought I was not ready for that, but I was going to give it a try for my son. He moved a million stuffies, his favorite pillow called ‘dots’, the Lego he is working on (‘Daddy would really like this Lego!’) and a handful of other things. We lay down and he started: ‘I am hot. I am sweaty. I want Daddy. Now. ‘ This, without stopping to move for even a second!
After 10:45 pm, I left and went to my bed. A second later, he opened the curtain and said that he didn’t want to sleep there anymore. The only thing I heard after that was the sound of his little feet walking back and forth, back and forth moving all his thousand things back to his room.
This morning, I went to his bedroom to wake him up and saw the cutest thing ever: my son fell asleep by himself but, before that, he changed his PJ’s and slept with Ricardo’s shirt! I gave him a huge high-5 and told him how proud I was…
As hard as it can be and as much as we are missing Ricardo, we have him with us all the time. As I told Ian yesterday, Ricardo said that he was going to be around. And he is – he will never leave our hearts, that’s for sure!